There's a Pattern, But I Still Don't Get It

My days tend to go like this: I get up, eat a small breakfast. I eat yogurt for lunch, then nothing before dinner. I eat a moderate dinner. Then,...I lose my mind. I couldn't possibly still be hungry. Yesterday I ate 46 points, 22 of them after dinner. It's ridiculous, out of control, and I'm tired of it. I am powerless over what fatigue and medication do to my "off switch."

Today I will commit to writing this evening instead of eating. I'll be back to blog in the evening instead of eat. I can't eat and type, can I?

The Slippery Slope

I know how this goes: first I eat a little too much one day, nothing unhealthy, just too many points; then, I eat a little more the next day, etc. It's a snowball or a slippery slope. Here's the deal: I get 29 WW points a day and 49 extra for the whole week, plus I can earn activity points. Yesterday, I ate 38 points, but I had 11 activity points. So...I'm still OK for the week. I don't want to be just OK. I have to commit, today, to consuming 29 points of food only! I had the following after dinner yesterday: greek yogurt (planned and OK), 1 oz. of raisins and nuts, and 8 yogurt-covered pretzels. I don't even like those that much! It's just that they are sweet, and I like sweets. I would much rather have oatmeal cookies....Oh well, I start over and commit for today...just for today.

One day--today

Yesterday I kept telling myself to "commit during Advent," and reminding myself how important it is to prepare, body, mind and spirit, for the coming of Christ. Since my son left for college, I don't think there has been one day when I stuck to my WW program. I have found excuse after excuse to eat the wrong things. It is time for a change, and I only have to do it today. Yesterday was a success, and today is all I have to worry about.

We got up at 3:30 am yesterday to go to the airport, and I stayed awake when we got home. I got a ton of work done! Then, it was nap time.

Maybe falling down and hurting my knee and palms on Thanksgiving isn't such a terrible thing. I can't walk or do yoga, so rest is not an option.


My grandmother had a stroke 4 years ago and is declining. She is uncomfortable and had to be taken to the hospice facility yesterday. Taking care of her has become too much for the family. I pray that her suffering ends soon.

All I have is today.

The First Sunday of Advent

In May I started Weight Watcher's Online and lost about 27 pounds. After taking my son to college (first year) and after going back to school (work), I have reverted back to some of my old bad habits. Starting with this First Sunday of Advent, I am committing to adhere to my program of WW. I know that following the points plus system and taking good care of my eating will make me feel better. I still struggle with overeating after dinner, and I commit to stopping that bad habit, one day at a time.

Good times at Thanksgiving

Here's to success and joyful preparation for Christmas. I wait in emptiness, hunger, and openness.

Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Holy Child!